"Behind Closed Doors"- Part 1

By: Tamara Evans
By: Tamara Evans

Historically, domestic violence relationships were simply thought to be between a husband and a wife.

According to the Kentucky Revised Statutes, domestic violence also extends outside of the home and it seems almost anyone can fall victim to this type of relationship.

A study by the UN shows that worldwide a woman is battered by her husband every 15 seconds.

While men can also find themselves in a domestic violence relationship, 95% of the time it is women that tend to be victims.

So how do women get into these types of relationships?

One woman we spoke with, whom for safety reasons we'll call "Sarah", seemed to have a normal relationship with a man she grew up with.

"He was shy, very shy, very cute. Blonde-hair, blue eyes...that type. He was sweet", says Sarah.

She ended up marrying him and was with him for 23 years, but this love-at-first sight relationship didn't have a fairy tale ending.

"I took a heck of a beating that alot of men would've even run from, but I didn't have enough sense to run from it", says Sarah.

According to sociologists, there's a pattern to get women into these types of relationships, that begins with the "reeling in" phase.

"He has to pull her in to make her love him, though she actually falls in love with someone who doesn't actually exist", says Dr. Ann Goetting, who consults in many domestic abuse trials.

He can reel her in with flowers, gifts, attention....whatever it takes.

Once she falls in love, the "gotcha" phase begins and things start to change.

"Now all he has to do is periodically show that he's dissatisfied with her. 'You've gained five pounds, you've lost five pounds, you're hairs to light, you're hair's too dark, the house isn't clean, the children are making noise', and then she will get quite upset that she's lost this perfect man", says Goetting.

It's at this point many women feel as if they've done something wrong, when in reality they haven't. It's the way the man gains power and control, and is where the cycle of battering begins.

Coming up on Wednesday at 6:00 & 10:00 in "Behind Closed Doors", we'll take a look at some of the warning signs to look for in domestic violence types of relationships, and the reasons why it is sometimes so hard for women to get out of them.

If you suffer from domestic violence or know someone who does and would like to get help, please call the 24-hour crisis hotline number for the Barren River Area Safe Space at 1-800-928-1183.


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